Soon people will be speaking of a "Dutch Democracy" when they mean a country where the government does as it pleases without really listening to its people. Some years ago far more people voted for the Dutch Socialists: SP than for the Democratic Party D'66. Still the latter made it into the government seats in Parliament. Soom the Dutch people can vote in favour of or against the coming of a European Constitution. No matter if 90 percent of the people votes against, the government will respect the wishes of the people and proclaim a win for the new constitution. Like a boxer respects his opponent but still beats the .... out of him. Yeah.

In the same respect I can state that my opinion regarding my kids is fully respected. In the case of both kids and both their moms. In both cases, however, the ladies can do as they please and I will have to conform to their every wishes and whimps. My son's mom can state she will pay her son a visit, not show up an blame her illniss.
My daughter's mom can agree to the fact that I will pick up her daughter, not be there for the pick-up and blame her busy schedule as a busy mom with two kids.
Somehow I don't see that as fair.

Excuse me if I'm a bit down. It's just one of those lifes...er...days.

I just never get used to saying goodbye. Every so often I hug my daughter goodbye without knowing when I will see her again. Today we mailed a drawing she made to her sister who has her third birthday coming tuesday.
This girl could be my daughter. Should I decide to recognize her as well I need to hurry while she's flexibel (e.i. young) enough to take the news and not be traumatised by it. My son was at a birthday-party yesterday so me and Eva had a couple of hours together.

Luckily there are people out there who support me while I struggle with work, study, being a single dad as well as a weekend-dad. With two custody-cases on my hands with two different ex-es concerning probably three different kids I'm busy enough as it is.

Perhaps I should take some time of,
First listen to what the boss has to say about the matter since my private situation is affecting my work.

Should you feel like ending it all in the way of this guy who planned with others to commit suicide on Valentine's Day, you might want to take a look here:
Pere Lachaise

There's a woman standing on the bridge. She mumbles to herself and occassionally shouts to the world. When you try to start a conversation she won't hear you. She lives in a world of her own.
Is it my world that's real or is it hers?

When you type the question "how to commit fraude" into the mamma.com search-engine, the URL to my weblog shows up first. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Every single time I say goodbye to my daughter I wonder when we will see her again. Somehow you just don't get used to the pain. Some other guy is posing as her dad whilst her mom lets me pay to play the role. She was the one who decided to spent her life with someone else. For years I was unaware of the existence of "the other guy". When I found out she was already pregnant with number two. So my daughter has a sister. But who's the real dad? My other ex still shares custody over our son so when something would happen to me (I die, for example...) she will be appointed legal guardian. Since she can't take care of herself due to her illness (she's a schizofrenic, paranoid borderline patient) "they" will look for a foster home. Rather than that I'd like for my best friend to be appointed the role of new parent but judges in this country still fail to look into every case as if they're dealing with individuals and not the categories "male" and "female". Stupid.

This weekend I will have my 10 year old godson as guest, with his mom. Monday I will be in serious talks about me possibly quiting the national workforce: When I would quit my job and take my son from afterschool, I would gain 150 euro's a month. Exactly the amount my ex (daughter's side) demands from me...

Pleasant dreams.

For now: tata!