My thoughts on #PizzaGate

One tiny thing to add on #Pizzagate: police have stated they will not take a look in the pizzeria's basement. Because of one simple - but often overlooked - fact: the place has no basement. Unless it's on some astral plane and ancient aliens have placed a portal behind the pizza oven that leads to the basement in an other dimension. John Podesta is obviously the gatekeeper of that portal. The fact he is nowhere to be seen proves this. ;-)

('Yeah, but other buildings in the area have basements so they are lying!')

Furthermore: one of the 'friends of Comet Pizza Ping Pong' is a guy who draws sexually explicit pictures and he even posted a picture of a young boy putting a toy plane in his mouth! That surely proves John Podesta is a pedophile! Er...wait..



I have friends who strongly believe in the Ancient Aliens theory. That's absolutely fine of course, since everyone is entitled to believe what they want. But why should it mean I do? 'Yeah, but you are friends with someone who does so you must too!' So, if you're a man and a male friend of yours is sexually attracted to other men, that means that you are gay? Interesting!

John Podesta supposedly owns a painting of a young boy. Apparently that says his sexual orientation is that he fancies young boys. So what does this 'evidence' say about the sexual orientation of people who own little bronze statues of naked unicorns they keep on the side table next to their bed?

The same people who are gullible enough to believe this is actually a proven fact also claim Obama's birth certificate is fake and that's because...(hold on to your seats) Sheriff Joe Arpaio (click) hired Mike Zullo to investigate. Mr. Zullo went on to present as evidence the testimony of 'an unknown 94 years old woman from Hawaii who supposedly told a fake newsreporter the stamps on President Obama's birth certificate don't fully match up.' Both the names of the woman and the man calling himself reporter were undisclosed and the press concerence ended with the announcement 'we don't take questions'. More on this here and here.

And what if Obama really wasn't born in America? In that case he is not the only US president not being born on American soil. Here's a list:

George Washington
John Adams
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
James Monroe
John Quincy Adams
Andrew Jackson

One more thing: if immigrants really are hurting the United States of America - which Donald Trump repeatedly stated - and the definition of immigrant is 'at least one parent or grandparent born in an other country', would Donald Trump allow a guy to run for president whose mother was born in a foreign country, who's grandfather was born in a foreign country and whose wife was a foreigner? In other words: would Donald Trump allow Donald Trump to become president of the United States of America?

Now, let's focus on important things, shall we?
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