Breathe in, breathe out...(a poem)

Written whilst enjoying a few live performances during Subculture Cabaret (click) on June 13th 2020, hence the handwriting and mistakes in the original written piece.

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

Good people

With all that's happening in the world I always take comfort in the fact that there are also a lot of good people in the world. Like this street photographer that lets 'ordinary' people like you and me feel like supermodels.





Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, dad!

Most likely - puzzling the pieces together - you were Hans Lotzow (Lowtzow? von Lowtzow?) from Hamburg, Germany. Who - in 1966 - offered my half brother and my mother food and shelter when they had none and winter was about to set in. You were just divorced and your house (and heart?) was empty because your child (children?) had (just? Some years earlier?) moved out with his/her/their mother. So, thank you for giving my mom and brother what they needed most in a time of distress, I guess.

Three years ago the woman you probably remarried and still lived at the address I found among my late mother's belongings on a hand written slip of paper (why would anyone keep a tiny slip of paper with a name and misspelled address on it in a to me unfamiliar handwriting for over fifty years? If not for planning to one day tell the whole story?) told a friend of mine (thank you, friend! Unfortunately the lady wouldn't talk to me, nor provide the details I figured would help me find closure.) you had passed away in 1984. Coincidentally the same year my grandmother died.

I would like ('If I may, to take you on a strange journey') the name of the cemetery where your (old? Tired? Sick? Young? Troubled? Content?) bones were laid to rest so I could say hello and goodbye and learn to know what kind of man you were.

Did you like jazz or prefer classical music? Did you play an instrument? According to my mother 'your father was a boxer/a writer of children's books/a (Austrian) swimming instructor for disabled children/a (Russian) piano teacher/a (Swedish) submarine captain captured by the Nazis and given the choice to work for Hitler or have his sub torpedoed with his crew inside and worked as a double spy (I liked that story! Made me feel my dad was some sort of hero.)'.

Did you help Jews or Hitler? Or did you simply try to live through a war you didn't ask for? Where you a cat lover or prefer to walk a dog? Did you smoke or drink? Is there something your child(dren) would like to share with me, his/her/their half brother?

Perhaps some day a private detective (who will pick up his efforts to search for details surrounding your existence when the Covid-19 lockdown is lifted) will be successful in tracking down your sibling(s) and find them willing to talk to me.

What was there in your genes that could explain some things about me that can't be explained looking at my mother?

At least she was being honest (I like to think she was often honest) when as an adult I asked her why as a child I often felt not wanted. She put a hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said: 'I have good news for you, son: your feelings weren't deceiving you.'

I wish they had.

But things are as they are and I love her and often felt loved by her. If only I knew a bit more about you, dad. Because I'd really like to love you too.

Happy Father's Day, dad, whoever and wherever you are.

This song's for you:

Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

Unheard (a poem)

Motionless he stood at the railing,

the dayglow warm against his cheek.

Overlooking the water but not seeing it.

His mind's eye was still in her bedroom

where the curtains were closed

but where her heart had opened.

They had talked warily,

just a few words

because most of what was said

was unspoken

but not unheard

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

What do we need most? Empathy!

Of course children need food and shelter. That's what they get from their parents. In school they are taught how to multiply, to read and where to find their country of origin on a map of the world. A surprising number of people (not just Americans. Really.) have difficulties reading a map. Especially when they need to think 'outside the box':





If children ask a question and the answer is not in the book, the teacher often doesn't know the answer either. And sometimes there is no answer possible. 'If the Universe if finite, what's beyond its border?' 'Who was the first cowboy ever to call out 'Yihaw!' and why?' 'How is a man supposed to act when his wife says 'Darling, I'm cold?' But that's okay too.

I don't like parents or teachers who then tell children to 'stop asking stupid questions!'. It just shows the parent or teacher is stupid. It really is okay to say you don't know. Especially when you really don't know. So those parents and teachers could also say: 'That's a great question! I don't know the answer either but if one day you do, could you please let me know? Thanks!'

I don't like teachers who give their students a pencil and show them how to draw a house. I like teachers who give their students a pencil and ask them to draw what they find important.

I don't like teachers who give their students instruments and tell them how to use them exactly. I do like teachers who give their students instruments, let them figure out how to use them and are willing to learn from the mistakes their students make. But also are willing to learn from the sometimes amazing solutions their students come up with.

Parents these days hardly have time to cloth and feed their offspring, let alone teach them some basic values. And why should they 'because that's what school is for, right?' They understood this problem in countries like Finland (click) and Denmark (click). Where learning empathy is mandatory.

Children in Finland and Denmark are taught to be better. Not to be better than other kids but better human beings than they were before. Perhaps we can learn from it.

It looks like the city of Camden, New Jersey has: crime as well as 'death by cop' has decreased dramatically since police officers were taught to talk first, shoot later instead of the opposite to which they (police and citizens alike) were grown accustomed to.

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

No More (a poem)

Her words were invigorating,
her eyes of a colour not definable,
sometimes brown, sometimes a shade of green jade
with a sparkle of gold.

Her laugh that of  a twelve year old,
not holding back when she finds something amusing.
But sometimes that of a woman
in the winter of her life,
feeling content having lived the life she had,
looking at a picture of her latest grandchild.

Her hair curly and the colour of sand on a beach,
the morning after a stormy night.

Her eyes were made for truth and honesty,
not concealment.
But her mind played tricks on her,
making her wonder
if her heart was to be trusted,
bewildering her beautiful soul in the proces
and pushing away her loved ones
feeling left abandoned
she tried to escape reality
more than once.

Every once in a while
telling herself she was succesful
until reality caught up with her
repeatedly.
Until it was over
and the urge to escape
was no more

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

More fake news (Bye Felicia!)

Stop spreading these videos of our beloved president! They look so real!
At least tell people when you share them that they are fake!

Sure, honey. Let's also put out a disclaimer on everything your 'beloved  president' says:

WARNING: don't let this man fool you. Almost everything (click) he says is a lie.

Besides: if you can't tell above video is fake, you deserve to get fooled.

Bye, Felicia!



Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

She made (a poem)

Understanding came before the vision
So when she said 'It's just like I remember',
he replied 'I remember it differently
but I know what you mean.'

And so they sat in silence,
each in their own thoughts.
Just like she remembered.

While he smiled,
recollecting the sounds she made.

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

Why I participated in the #BlackLivesMatter protests

From personal experience I can say I've been denied a job because of the colour of my skin: the company stated 'you won't feel comfortable in the office surrounded by only whites'. 

An other time I was also denied a job because of my skin colour: 'We're very sorry, momentarily we're only hiring people of colour to show we're anti-racist and the government gives us money if we hire more blacks, gays and women. (I'm part Indonesian, part German, with a touch of Irish and Scandinavian) so you don't qualify. Would you happen to know a black lesbian?' 

At an other company I was told I wouldn't feel at home 'because there are no other gays in this company'. I told them that doing volunteer work for the LGBT community doesn't turn a heterosexual man into a lesbian, nor does working for Philips turn you into a lightbulb (but you can be screwed) or going to church makes you a Christian. Or standing in a garage makes you a car, holding drumsticks makes you a great drummer, and so on and so forth. But they didn't see the joke. 

There were times I got an interview thanks to my application and motivation letter. When I entered they just laughed and send me out with a cup of coffee. They thought a friend had pulled a prank on them. I didn't see the humour in that. 

Girls wanted to er.. 'be' with me 'because I never had one like you'. 

When I went shopping with my mom shopkeepers asked her what size shoes I was or pointed at the children's section. I'm 4ft7 (1.40m) and have a touch of 'Asian' in my skin colour. It's probably why people from all over the world automatically start talking to me in the language of the country their parents are from. They ask me for directions or a cigarette in Turkish, Swazi, German, Gaelic, Indonesian and Frysian. Which I think is kinda cool.

For all of the above (and more. Like experiences from friends and other loved ones) I think what it feels like to be judged on looks and prejudice. Therefore I will be at Dam Square later today. Because it is about me. And you. And my neighbours. And my children. And my future grandchildren.

Here's a post by Kevin Groen, copied with his permission:

(I'll save your post. Might come in useful. Not in the least as a reminder for myself when I feel inclined to judge people on their looks. So, yeah, thanks Kevin Groen:)

𝘏𝘖𝘞 𝘛𝘖 𝘗𝘖𝘚𝘛 𝘖𝘕 𝘚𝘖𝘊𝘐𝘈𝘓 𝘔𝘌𝘋𝘐𝘈 𝘈𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘍𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘙𝘈𝘊𝘐𝘚𝘔 𝘐𝘍 𝘠𝘖𝘜’𝘙𝘌 𝘞𝘏𝘐𝘛𝘌

(last night FB apparently deleted this post, which is both ridiculous & unfortunate because it got a lot of attention, so I'm reposting it ❤️🔥✊🏼)

Dear whyt person, so you want to post on your social media to show your support and solidarity in fighting racism. I appreciate your intention, and I would like to provide you with some tips on how to do this in a helpful way, rather than the typical well-intentioned less helpful (and sometimes downright hurtful and destructive) ways.

So let’s begin shall we.

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𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟-𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

1. ONLY SHARING HOW OUTRAGED YOU ARE

By only sharing how outraged you are, you are making it all about you and your emotional state, taking away from the PoC whose outrage should be center stage.

Also don’t share how despondent / helpless you feel, it really isn’t about how you feel, and besides you can also educate yourself on what you as a whyt person could be doing instead. There’s plenty of education materials out there that explain what actions whyt folks can take to be a real ally.

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2. STATING THAT RACISM & WHYT SUPREMACY ARE BAD

PoC have been screaming for centuries that racism & whyt supremacy are bad, we know it is bad, we’re suffering from it every single day of our lives. You saying that doesn’t change the narrative, doesn’t change the system, doesn’t do anything but drowning out voices who speak real truth to power.

But most importantly, when you say that racism & whyt supremacy are bad, you’re excluding yourself from it. You’re denying that you yourself grew up in a whyt supremacist society, inheriting whyt supremacy, and you ignore the fact that you are benefiting from it, and are complicit in upholding it.

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3. SAYING THAT WHYT PRIVILEGE IS REAL

Yeah, news flash, PoC have been telling you that forever!! Stating the obvious doesn’t change the obvious. Whyt folks have been denying that whyt privilege is real forever, and you saying that it exists doesn’t educate in any meaningful way. It doesn’t change the narrative among other whyt folks about what whyt privilege means. It might cause a ‘yes’ vs ‘no’ discussion, but doesn’t get into the depths of how that privilege plays a role, in what ways it manifests etc.

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4. REPOSTING NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Reposting (mainstream) news items about current events, while useful in attracting attention, don’t necessarily change your narrative, unconscious beliefs, nor that of other whyt folks.

And sharing current news items that are depicting violence against PoC, especially black people being murdered might make you guily of traumap0rn, which continues the suffering of black people and PoC.

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Also points #1-4 might in truth be you just virtue signaling, and if you don’t know what virtue signaling is, chances are that you’ve done it.

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𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

If you want to be a real ally and use your social media for positive change, here’s an uncomfortable truth for you: you will have to put yourself out there, talk openly about guilt and shame, talk about your mistakes, your complicity, your ongoing learning, your identity as a whyt person.

Now you might be thinking “OMG, that’s too exposing, too scary, too painful!!”

Well, if you want to be a real ally, you’ll have to get your hands fucking dirty, and get uncomfortable, endure pain, confront your fears and everything else. And still whatever it is that you experience is nothing compared to what PoC experience every day!

So here’s what would be profoundly helpful for you to share in fighting racism

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1. CHANGE THE NARRATIVE OF WHAT WHYT SUPREMACY, RACISM & WHYT PRIVILEGE LOOKS LIKE, SO YOU EDUCATE YOUR FELLOW WHYT FOLKS

Instead of saying that racism & whyt supremacy are bad, and that whyt privilege is real, it is important that you educate your fellow whyt folks on those 3 concepts. The best way for you to do so is by getting personal about your own experience.

So share your own personal stories of:

- How you learned about your whyt privilege.

Specific examples when you benefitted from your whyt privilege.

- Mistakes you have made in the past that were racist and upheld racism.

- How your whyt lens makes you see the world, and things you realised you don’t see through that lens.

- Specific examples of how your silence harmed PoC.

- Specific examples of your defensive behaviours when you received feedback from PoC.

-The process by which you started to become more aware.

Why are these stories important, because they educate other whyt folks on what whyt privilege looks like that is hard to deny. It makes the statement that whyt privilege is real come to life.

When you share your own personal experience of contributing to racism, it helps other whyt folks compare it to their own experience without being able to accuse you

.

Below are some questions that can get you started, and it would be a great starting point for you to share your answers on social media.

- What is your earliest memory that you can recall, that you realized being whyt was an advantage? How did you behave before that realisation? How did you behave after that realisation?

- What does it mean to be whyt for you? And how are youI benefiting from my whytness?

- What is a racist situation that you remember, looking back on, you wish you would have behaved differently? Why? And how would you wish you had behaved instead?

- How did you learn about whyt supremacy, racism, whyt privilege? What was painful? What was suprising? What shifted?

- What is something you believed when you were younger, that you don’t believe anymore? What triggered that shift?

- What is a book/film/documentary/talk/person that changed your understanding on race related issues? How did it change your understanding? How did it impact your behaviour?

.

And of course you can also share your success stories of when you were a good ally in action. But if you’re not willing to put yourself out there in public, if you're not willing to share your shame and guilt, if you’re not willing to get uncomfortable and endure some pain, then I do not trust you at all with being a real ally when it matters, because you are obviously not willing to do the inner work required to become one, and all you do is virtue signaling so you can feel good about yourself.

Don't post that you support anti-racism, show me that you are doing the work to be anti-racist!

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2. REPOST STORIES & EXPERIENCES SHARED BY POC

Media attention is important, and sure, big media has a huge reach. But also make sure you share actual stories and experiences posted by PoC who are directly affected by whatever it is that is happening in the world.

PoC voices need to be amplified, not just the voices of whyt-run mainstream media. Their stories are at the heart of experiencing oppression, their stories & experiences need to go mainstream when mainstream media doen’t report on them, and you can do that by reposting what they share.

Also, please share local stories & experiences from PoC. Only sharing content coming from USA may be tempting and sexy, but it also contributes to the belief that racism & white supremacy only happens over there. There are plenty of local stories & experiences from people in your surroundings you should be sharing, you just haven't paid attention!!

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3. SHARE EDUCATIONAL CONTENT (FROM POC)

Lots of PoC have created (e)books, articles, made movies, documentaries, podcasts etc. Please share their content. There’s so much educational content out there, and it is your responsibility to share it in your whyt circles. Of course whyt people like DiAngelo and Elliot get cited a lot, for good reason, just make sure you amplify educational content from PoC. So share about current events, but share even more educational content all your long.

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Here are 2 resources from my page:

- 𝘏𝘖𝘞 𝘛𝘖 𝘉𝘌 𝘈 𝘏𝘌𝘓𝘗𝘍𝘜𝘓 𝘞𝘏𝘐𝘛𝘌 𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘈𝘎𝘈𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘛 𝘙𝘈𝘊𝘐𝘚𝘔 (15 𝘈𝘊𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘚) - https://bit.ly/2ZQvfEm

- 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘌𝘔𝘖𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓 𝘐𝘔𝘗𝘈𝘊𝘛 𝘖𝘍 𝘌𝘕𝘋𝘜𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘈 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌𝘛𝘐𝘔𝘌 𝘖𝘍 𝘙𝘈𝘊𝘐𝘈𝘓 𝘔𝘐𝘊𝘙𝘖𝘈𝘎𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘚 - https://bit.ly/2AmLKgF

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And it goes without saying that if you only do the previously mentioned points once a year, you’re not really being an ally.

Fighting racism has to happen every damn day, and if you use your social media only once a year, you really are just virtue signaling.

The moment global uproar is over (e.g. George Floyd, burqa ban, anti-Asian sentiments), that’s when we (PoC) need you to continue your fight.against racism. Not only today, tomorrow, but also next week, next month, next year!

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I am looking forward reading more about your whyt journey in fighting racism by you sharing your own story <3

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PS: this isn’t a definitive list on how you should use your social media in fighting racism, but following these 3 principles all year long will definitely make you a better ally ❤️🔥✊🏼

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Yes, it's hard to speak out. So what if we'd all do it together? Say, five o'clock Dam Square, protesting the brutal killing of American citizens by police officers? On the bus the next morning, in the supermarket, at the birthday party were this 'really nice and he only does this when he's drunk' uncle rants about how it's all the fault of 'De joden, surinamers, zigeuners, moslims!', depending on in which era he (or 'she'. Hey, who am I to judge?) is drunk? 

It's hard to speak out when you're afraid to lose 'friends'. Or teeth.

I'm all for finding enduring solutions. Finding a cure for the cold, not develop better Kleenex.

Update: something that came up after I re-read above. When as a kid I got swimming lessons, the instructor wouldn't let me even go near the deep end. Explaining to my mom: 'He's so short that he might drown!' My mother was furious and I was confused because she had taught me that I should always do what authorities tell me to but here she was, throwing words at him I had my eight years older neigbour explain to me... Perhaps I should have confronted the instructor later in my life, explaining to him that size doesn't really matter that much in swimming. And why he thought that my ten centimeters taller classmates could still keep their heads above the water while standing at the bottom of the 3.5metres deep end of the pool but I could not. 'If you had taught me how to swim, I couldn't drown there and then, you [insert words my mother used at the time]!'

In my mind I never said: 'Well done! For a woman/a black kid/a homosexual/someone with one eye/a fan of the Backstreet Boys/asian/in a wheelchair/an old man.' Tip: if you don't know what to call a person, use his or her name. Yes, it's that simple. 

Here's me answering the question: 'What shall I call you? Dwarf, midget, Lilliputian? Which sounds better to you? Because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.' My reply: 'Thanks, I appreciate that! What shall I call you then? 'Negro, boy, monkey? Which one of these slurs makes you feel most comfortable?' 'Whoops! My bad. Sorry, Terrence.' 'That's okay, George.'

If I ever have (perhaps at the playground as a kid: 'Not bad for a girl! Weehee!' But not even then, I think.), I am very, very sorry. It is not nice to do such a thing. Not ever.

Except perhaps to jokingly say to a friend who is a Backstreet Boys fan.

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Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon