Friday, February 04, 2005

There's a woman standing on the bridge. She mumbles to herself and occassionally shouts to the world. When you try to start a conversation she won't hear you. She lives in a world of her own.
Is it my world that's real or is it hers?

When you type the question "how to commit fraude" into the search-engine, the URL to my weblog shows up first. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Every single time I say goodbye to my daughter I wonder when we will see her again. Somehow you just don't get used to the pain. Some other guy is posing as her dad whilst her mom lets me pay to play the role. She was the one who decided to spent her life with someone else. For years I was unaware of the existence of "the other guy". When I found out she was already pregnant with number two. So my daughter has a sister. But who's the real dad? My other ex still shares custody over our son so when something would happen to me (I die, for example...) she will be appointed legal guardian. Since she can't take care of herself due to her illness (she's a schizofrenic, paranoid borderline patient) "they" will look for a foster home. Rather than that I'd like for my best friend to be appointed the role of new parent but judges in this country still fail to look into every case as if they're dealing with individuals and not the categories "male" and "female". Stupid.

This weekend I will have my 10 year old godson as guest, with his mom. Monday I will be in serious talks about me possibly quiting the national workforce: When I would quit my job and take my son from afterschool, I would gain 150 euro's a month. Exactly the amount my ex (daughter's side) demands from me...

Pleasant dreams.

For now: tata!

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