When I quit smoking it wasn't the local tobacconist who suffered most but my poor ADHD-brain: instead of an average of some 38 thought trains, now hundreds raced freely through my mind. Was it the nicotine that kept my thoughts in check or should I just put something in my mouth again and set it on fire? Science says it was the nicotine.
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"All of a sudden you see people who are autistic or have ADHD or Aspergers. It must be a conspiracy because it didnt't exist in my childhood!", according to US Secretary of Health, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Sure. And 3247 years ago not a lot of people were diagnosed with cancer. Medical science made some progress and it has become easier to see if someone is suffering from anxiety, has a burnout or is simply neurodivergent.
Besides: very recently scientists discovered cancer was not uncommon amongst dinosaurs.
My psychotherapist set me free with a last piece of advice: "Yes, you have some physical disabilities and are getting older. Yes, you have childhood traumas and some are unresolved. And yes, you have ADHD. Live with it. Good luck, thanks for the fun conversations, for not shouting at me and I'll send you my last invoice tomorrow."
His words didn't really surprise me. I'm surprised the drinks brand 'Aquarius' hasn't used astrology in their ads yet. "Welcome to our Era, the Age of Refreshment. Join our cult and drink the cool-aid!" Sorry, ADHD. Drifted off a little there.
I started following some ADHD-accounts on social media and every single time I'm surprised: "This is nót normal behaviour?" "This is the normal way to deal with this type of situation"? Apparently cab driver Cameron is 'neurodivergent'. I.e. 'not normal'
I'll have the whole menu, please.
As long as I can ride with Cameron.
BTW: why should this not be 'normal' behaviour? Who else thinks it's weird to be clear, specific and really care about the other? IMHO it's a lot weirder to expect the other to be psychic and the other for you expecting to be psychic.
I actually didn't know but it makes sense that often people don't understand me and I can get frustrated about it. But sometimes being able to rapidly make connections others don't see is appreciated. And it fills my heart with joy.
Like the other day when someone stated that the Tesla Cybertruck is really bad: "The batteries still need cooling liquid, parts of the car just drop off, the transmission is lousy, it can't handle low temperatures and..." and I responded: "Elon's mission is trans? Don't tell his cult followers!" Many people probably didn't understand, but one person on social media platform Threads responded with a GIF-animation of a guy tipping his hat.
In general ADHD'ers have a strong dislike for injustice. Hence you don't find a lot of them voting 'radical right' political parties in their home country. But what if it's normal to feel empathy for oppressed groups of people and those nót diagnosed with ADHD are actually neurodivergent, i.e. 'not normal', als Lauren Dubois states.
Is the Secret World Government drugging people so most are
docile sheep? It would explain the crazy number of 'wappies' in the US: the country has more contaminants in the drinking water, the soil and the air than any other country. American citizens being drugged by that same elite they scream to be against (Big Oil, Big Agro, Big Tech) would explain a lot.
I was on (legal) drugs once too. To control my emotions and actions. And hated it to be 'normal'; lacking creativity, not being able to think outside the box, not feeling empathy for a colleague in distress...A common drug for combating ADHD is Adderall, Dexo-amfetamine. Donald Trump has been taking it for years. In bigly quantities. Taking too much Adderall leads to hallucinations, convulsions, over-excitement...
People with ADHD often find themselves frustrated because others don't seem to understand them and vice versa. They need clear instructions. "Do you see that door?" for quite a few ADHD'ers is an incentive to look at said door, not to leave the room.
More than others, we take words literally.
"Why don't you understand what I want?" "Most likely because you say A but hope that I am psychic and somehow understand you mean B."
I thought it was normal to panic at everyday little accidents and stay extremely calm in life threatening situations and never understood why screaming people run around aimlessly when their house is on fire, I learned the latter behaviour is considered 'normal'. And not:
"F*ck, where is my favourite pen!", "Darn, almost out of coffee and the store will close in just two hours and is a ten minute walk. I will never make it in time!" and "Shazbat! I just dropped my favourite mug and now the ear has broken off. I don't know what to do." are much, much bigger problems than: "Some idiot is standing in my way of doing something I think is important and holding a gun to my face. I'll just ask him nicely to step aside or will make him. Tss!"
Apparently it's weird to have entire made up conversations in your mind while showing the facial expressions and hand gestures that go with the conversations. To get snapped out of it by a nurse telling the doctor will see you now. Or the lady at the counter asking you what kind of coffee you'd like.
I learned that normal people do not have a less favourite spoon in their kitchen drawer they will never use but also will never throw out. Always thought it was normal to basically hear every single sound around me at the same level of 'importance'
just like every little bit of information is equally important to me. Was actually shocked when I found out that most people can quite easily filter out what's actually not important at any particular moment.
And no, that we start fidgeting, divert our eyes from you and interrupt you with a story of our own does not mean we don't care. On the contrary. The fidgeting is to keep our mind distracted while focusing on what you're saying; our eyes turned 'inward' means we're trying to understand what you're saying by searching our database for something relatable and spill it to show you we can actually relate and therefore care. We don't use tricks à la Dr. Phil (a light hand touch, looking you deep in the eyes, saying 'hmm hmm') to make you think we care but we actually do. If we don't, you will know because we will simply tell you. It's called 'honesty'.
Was once put on meds for a couple of weeks so I could focus on work and only had one or two other thoughts at any given moment. It was hell! My creativity was gone, I could no longer cheer at finally finding a cash difference of three cents in the bookkeeping software after four days of searching while also running the company's daily bookkeeping (and helping colleagues from completely different departments just for fun and because my mind thrives on doing all kinds of different things simultaneously), forgot how to smile at some drunk tourist trying to imitate the whistle of some early morning bird...Is that really how normal people feel? I pity them.
It takes a lot of energy to control myself and not have onesided conversations and expect my conversation partner to be able to keep up, like in this conversation about the difference between 'expat' and 'immigrant':
Aha! So - since you left your home country - you are an expat. And since you came to live in The Netherlands your are an immigrant. Totally makes sense now. Thanks! I guess. And luckily for you we Dutchies - in general - love refugees. So we can make them work for us for virtually nothing and complain that everything in our lives is their vault. We really need you guys. No, we really do. Because the Dutch are selfish and therefore don't want to have kids. So - just like Israel - we take in loads of 'foreigners' to use as slaves...pardon...appreciated laborers. (fun fact: for people like Baudet and Wilders you are not a foreigner. Because your skin colour matches theirs) because otherwise the people who literally own more than half the land (the 'poor farmers') might have to rely on more EU-subsidies to (keep their private yachts) stay afloat.
For people with my kind of mind (it's not a disease or mental illness, just something different) it's not uncommon to drift off during a conversation. It has nothing to do with being inpolite or not paying attention. Our mind is just searching for similar situations as the conversation partner tells us about so we can share those anecdotes to share we know what they mean to show we actually care.
And all these years I thought it was just me. Not paying attention. Not putting in enough effort to what is said. Not respecting the person talking to me...I didn't know whether to cry or feel relieved. Finally I started to understand why people at the table next to hours shook their heads and left if I was having a conversation with an ADHD-friend because apparently that goes something like this.
It seems that 'normal' people are incapable of solving a problem if that solution is not in a manual. They can also have a normal energy level for weeks on end while I'm part of a team that can be completely lethargic for the same amount of time but has sudden bursts of energy in which we manage to do in two hours what others would take two weeks.
Are neurodivergent people the next step in human evolution, some experiment by Mother Nature, an exponent of the welfare state? What are your thoughts on the matter?
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