Monday, March 13, 2017

Becoming a Russian provence. With love.

In January I asked (click) if nude women would reappear in Playboy now that misogynist Trump was president. In February mymy friend's wish was granted (click). Do I have the power of prediction?

If my predictions come true, I hereby predict Donald Trump will soon hold the record for fastest impeachment ever: before the year 2017 is over, he will have to hand over his crown.

Thanks to the people he's surrounded himself with. Like Michael Flynn from the National Security Counsil who had to admit he was in talks with Russia on the day Russia was sanctioned for Putin's illegal invading of Crimea. I don't know what's worse: that he 'accidentally' went behind the president's back to negotiate deals with a sworn enemy or that the man in charge of National Security - and over 20 years of experience on matters of security! - simply did not know that every phonecall with the Russian Embassy is recorded.

And does Trump really think the nobody knows about his close ties with one of the most notorious dictators in the world, Vladimir Putin? Here's acting First Lady Ivanka, lovingly posing with Putin's girlfriend:

And think about this: what will it mean for America's future when the people in charge of the Department of Education can't even spell the names right of historical figures?
Yes, that''s right: the people in charge of the education of millions of children don't freakin' know how to put in a few letters in the search box at Wikipedia. It's really simple:

Think it couldn't get worse? They apologized. Here's how:

'Our deepest apologizes'? Oh, c'mon!

And no, it's not Photoshop at work. It's true. Sad.

It is common knowledge that 'the new guy' hates to be laughed at but thinks it's okay to laugh at others. That's why he refuses to attend the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I have an other theory: suppose The Donald knows his SNL impersanator Alex Baldwin will go in his stead. Suppose a suicide bomber ends the lives of the top people from CNN, The New York Times ánd Alec Baldwin.

With most of his 'enemies' out of the way, Trump will make a statement, putting on his saddest face (even sadder than when he found out in America it's illegal to marry your own daughter) and state: 'Luckily God told me not to be there because He knew something bad would happen. Although my Secret Service guys.... very tough guys. The absolute best. I handpicked them myself!...found close to nothing left from the body of the suicide bomber, they did find his passport intact at the scene after only two days of investigating and a rented car in his own name at the parking lot with in the glove compartment the manual to 'Blowing yourself up in the sight of cameras made easy.' And don't listen to science guys who tell you a man's skin can't turn white because of a bomb blast. Yes, the dead man's body was white but before he did BOOM he was still brown. And I know it because it's true.

So, now we know the guy was a Muslim we also know that every Muslim is a potential suicide bomber and should all be put away in intern camps. Starting now. So if you know of a Muslim or know where one is hiding: Call 1-800-TRUMP at only $1,20 a call. A free 'Make America Great Again cap for everyone who turns in three or more Muslims.'

Let's all hope that doesn't happen.


Want to read (more of) my short stories? My author page: Terrence Weijnschenk at Amazon

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